Grandpa, I miss you

How are you there grandpa? Suddenly I remember the happiest part of my childhood when you were still alive. Another year has passed. The spaces between us are infinite. I want to be with you this Christmas, but I can't. No wait, I can but maybe not now, later. I miss you and I love you so much. I want and need to talk to you. I can still feel you right here by my side, at each step of my life. I can still feel you in the darkest of the skies, as a shining star, glowing bright as ever.

This is not the first time I post something about you. But this is the only one I can do when I miss you :( the day that you left us, you didn't say good-bye. God was calling his angel home and there was no time to ask why, I know you are happy now with Him. Opa, you watched over me while you were here and I know that you'll watch over me from up there.You taught me how to be a strong lady and I'm glad to be your granddaughter. Tears have fallen for you, some happy and some sad. Each moment we spent together will be special to me forever :')

"Selamat ulang tahun ke-8 23 januari lalu. Semoga Tuhan memberkati, umur panjang, sehat dan rajin belajar untuk hari depan yang lebih baik. dari Opa 7/12/2001" 

Opa, do you remember? Those words you have been written by yourself when I was eight. Even it looks nothing special but it makes me smile everytime I see it. I miss your sweet smile, your warm hug, your voice, your kindness, your angry face, the moment when we had a good time when we swim together and every little things about you. I still keep all the toys that you have given to me; all the barbies and dolls, I never ever want to give it to anyone eventhough I'm not a little child anymore.

As always..

If you were here, I want to sit in front of you and hold your face in my hands, caress your sweet cheeks and tell you how precious and special you are, how much I love you and how much I've missed you. I want to hear anything you want to say, do anything you want me to do, and go anywhere you want..I just want my grandpa back. The more I wish to bring you back, the more it makes me feel helpless. And fyi today I received my report card, then you know what? I passed all the subject opa :) I promise I'll do better and study harder to make you proud. For my grandma, I don't know what or how to write about you because I never see you. But I believe that you love me as a grandma loves her granddaughter. Sometimes I feel envy with those who still has a grandma, 'cause they know how it feels to be loved and cared by a grandma. But I still be grateful that I know how it feels to be loved by a grandpa eventhough just for a short time. Till now, whenever I see a swimming pool I always remember about you, the greatest and the kindest grandpa in the world. I know we'll meet again sooner or later.

Opa, I wish to hug you tight eventhough I know I can't. But I have my arms open. Umm, I guess I'll hug my pillow and thinking it's you. Psssttt, do you know what opa? I'm 17th already,  it means your little girl has been transformed to be a young lady. I'll make you proud, someday. Though I can't see you, I know that you're still here 'cause in my memories you'll always live and in my heart you're always near. One thing you must know, you will never ever be forgotten opa..

With love,

Sofiany Leoni♥