Exams

Hell-o lovely readers! Just to inform you that tommorrow the exams will be start :'( oh man I need HOLIDAY for sure. Time has been running faster that I though. School sucks, really. I haven't much time to do all the things that I want. I must face the reality that I'm a student in 12th grader -_- so study is my new best friend eww yuck..I miss my 11th grader moment. Here I post the schedule for XII IPS aka my class..

You can't spell studying without dying

Ok wish me luck then hmmph may God always bless me and help me to do all the exams. AMEN! And I'll try to update this blog If I have some extra time. Praying. Some people think it's silly thing and useless. But I still believe it's the best after all. Good luck for me and all of you! Last but not least, please no 'galau time' during this exams week :/

When

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into your mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways..

It feels so good to be loved and to be wanted 

"When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. 

When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed.  

When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining eventhough he can’t carry a tune. 

When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left breast so he’s always close to your heart. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you." -Anon

I just bold the thing that I feel, 'cause before I met you..I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile with no reason. But now, everything seems so different....

\(‾▿‾\) (/‾▿‾)/

Much love, 

Sofiany Leoni♥

Kepada rindu

Aku benci rindu
Tak tersampaikan, tak tergubris
Enggan diungkapkan karna mulut terkatup rapat
Jangankan memulas senyum, menoleh pun tidak
Di planet yang sama, di kota yang sama
Hanya sekedar tahu tanpa mencoba memahami

Aku benci rindu
Tertampar sepi dan haus gelak tawa
Dibayangi kenangan tak luput rasa sendu
Seakan tak terjamah sedikit pun tidak
Hati menangis, wajah meringis
Rindu ini tidak lucu

Aku benci rindu
Bicara salah terdiam pun salah
Hilang dalam diri, tersesat dalam hati

Aku benci rindu
Mendadak jadi egois, tak tersaingi
Tak sadar waktu berjalan, bumi berputar
Rasanya mau tumpah
Tapi bagaimana? Di mana tempatnya?
Kamu. Ya kamu itu!

*hei kamu makasih jadi inspirasi. 

Ingin deh sesekali menamparmu, 
dengan rindu.

I'll give you my middle finger for free

hello there fuckin bitch! Can you just stop act like a stupid moron people? I'm sick of you. You act like you know about EVERYTHING and wear your beauty mask to make everybody feels simpathy to you. Maybe you're thirsty about popularity, am I right? lol poor you dear

Yeah one thing, if you never had experience about something, please SHUT UP. Stop to give someone your bullshit advice because in fact, you don't know anything at all. Do you enjoy with your life now? With your fake lifestyle? Do you think everybody loves you with your attitude? HAHA too bad, you can't analyse people that well. We'll see then, I'm sure someday you'll regret all what you did. Just stop lying, stop pretending and stop to flirt with a guy who already taken even everybody knows from your eyes that you adore him. Hell yea eyes can't lie sweety, poor you unyu unyuu

last but not least..
if you choose to be a bitch, at least get yourself an attitude

What does it mean?

Hello bloggie! How are you? Do you miss me, eh? Sorry I haven't post sumthin new 'cause currently I'm a bit unhealthy. I got fever, cough and flu :'( yeah get well soon to me and honestly I miss to post sumthin here...so here I am! Even my mom told that I must take a nap but...I don't want to mom, sorry :p fyi I don't go to school for three days (include today) because I'm sick and hell yeah I feel fuckin bored here -____- I've finished read 4 novels in a day, 'cause there's nothing I can do. Ok feel free to call me crazy, or freak? Maybe I really am. Before I was sitting in front of my laptop, my fingers rested on every letter. I wanted to write. I wanted to create just one brilliant story. But I couldn't. I didn't make any sense. My head was filled. But I don't know what or why. Hmm well I just found this on internet, and I was like...JEPPP! when I read this,

I was trying to control my emotion when you ruined my mood again..

"Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terampuhnya,

melainkan justru berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terakhirnya.
Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan berarti dia tidak berusaha menahannya, melainkan karena pertahanannya sudah tak mampu lagi membendung air matanya.
Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan karena dia ingin terlihat lemah,
melainkan karena dia sudah tidak sanggup berpura-pura kuat

Ketika wanita menangis, 
bukan berarti dia ingin mencari perhatian,
melainkan karna apa yang dia perhatikan telah mengabaikannya.
Ketika wanita menangis, 
bukan berarti dia mengharapkan belas kasihan,
melainkan karna dia sedang mengasihani dirinya sendiri.
Ketika wanita menangis, 

bukan berarti dia ingin membuat sesuatu yang dia tangisi merasa bersalah, melainkan karna dia tidak tau kesalahan apa yang membuat keadaan menjadi sedemikian.
Ketika wanita menangis, 

bukan berarti dia sedang memancing kepedulian semua orang terhadapnya, melainkan justru karna dia tau, bahwa tidak akan ada orang yang peduli."

 

and yeah again..that fact...was fuckin true. For me, or let I say for some girl. It totally doesn't mean that girl is weak but it means girl is fragile and tough (too complicated? try to find it by yourself) I love to cry because I'm a girl, I love to cry because I'll be free after that, I love to cry because it reminds me of you, I love to cry because...I want it. I know that I'm not a little baby anymore and I know I'm NOT. I'm strong enough to face it by myself. Sometimes I wonder why things are getting harder everyday, how I wish I could turn back time. It hurts to grow. Anyone who says it doesn't.....is lying. And dear time, can you slow yourself a lil bit every weekends? And much more faster on the weekdays? Thanks. 

Muak

Ini cuman muntahan otak. Bukan sajak. Bukan puisi
Tapi mungkin presepsi anda berbeda. Terserah

Saya muak
Muak dengan segala kemunafikan
Muak dengan segala aktivitas yang itu-itu saja
Muak dengan segala yang palsu dan tak berbobot
Muak mengatakan saya baik-baik saja ketika sesungguhnya tidak
Muak mengatakan ya ketika kenyataannya sama sekali enggan
Muak terpaksa menyugingkan senyum karena keadaan
Muak pura-pura tidak tahu padahal kenyataannya sangat mengetahui
Muak melihat orang bermuka dua berkeliaran
Muak mendengar pujian palsu yang sebenarnya menyimpan rasa dengki
Muak berpura-pura baik kepada orang yang tidak pantas diberi belas kasih
Muak harus tertawa padahal dalam hati menahan tangis
Muak untuk mengalah karena perasaan tidak enak
Muak merasa galau ketika terbawa suasana
Muak mengingat masa lalu yang tidak ada gunanya
Muak melihat orang yang tidak pernah bersyukur atas dirinya

Saya ingin
Ingin pergi jauh ke tempat antah berantah
Ingin mensyukuri hidup seakan sempurna
Ingin terbang bebas tak terkendali
Ingin dicintai dan mencintai
Ingin selalu senang tanpa susah
Ingin sukses dan dipandang orang
Ini khayalan? Bukan. Atau mimpi? Apalagi itu
Hanya luapan emosi. Tak setuju? Lagi-lagi terserah