Exams over, (probably) got Bieber fever

HELLO BLOGGIE! I'm sorry for the super late update, I hope everyone's doing well! These past three months has definitely been hectic (I have 3 kind of exams like I said before in my last post, excluding the SNMPTN test) and I definitely feel a lot better knowing that I got through all. There were definitely a few long draining weeks, but I managed to push through, study hard, and keep my head held high by God's help.

And the good news is EXAMS totally OVER ! Just put down your pen and drop your books everywhere you want! Haha I'm so excited, yeah I'm done with  exams thingy. It's official have been finished on 21st April, but just now I've time to share sumthin new here. Hehe my bad I know :p but still, wish me luck for my exams result readers! In the name of Jesus, I believe I'll get a good score. AMEN. So now I'm totally free to spend my time doing things I love. Actually there are so many things I wanna post here during the past month, but I couldn't because I though I shouldn't waste time on the net and totally devote my time for the exam preparations. And now it's finally over. Yeay! So when I think of sumthin cool, I'll update my blog immediately. It's a promise.

Anyway Saturday (23/4/11) was the day that I never forget, I went to JUSTIN BIEBER'S CONCERT @SICC with icha after a supah dupah long journey to get the tickets haha I won't tell you more about it, its too complicated to share the reason here. Back to the main topic, I couldnt lie that JB's performance really rocked up my night that day! Eventhough we must wait soooo long before we could enter the main hall. His performance was awesome! His smile, his voice, his hair, his style whoaaa everything about him makes me crazy for real! For God's sake, this is the best concert I've ever attended eventhough the promotors aren't too good. I dunno why but it seems like the promoters didn't  give the professional service. Sorry to say, it's just my opinion. 

We're new beliebers, eh (?)

Hmmphh ok back to the topic, JB's performance was extremely amazing. The lighting was also cool throughout the show, it was dominated with purple light. Believe it or not I still could remember the atmosphere exactly. It was so amazing, spectacular, fantastic oh what else? Maybe words can't never be enough to describe how cool his performance on stage. Really. You must see his performance first before you wanna say that I'm lying or too hyperbola.  He could hypnotic everybody by his performance naturally. I dunno why it could be happen, it just like he has sumthin special that others star didn't. And from now I understand why he got so many fans called "Beliebers" btw do you guys know about Beliebers and Bieber fever? What is Beliebers and Bieber fever? From uncle google I just found that Beliebers means "A fan who believes that dreams can happen because Justin did" and Bieber fever means "having Justin Bieber in your mind all day" haha maybe it sounds a bit awkward, but that 17th Canadian boy successfully made all the girls melt with his own way. 

Can you imagine? A young milyarder, multi talent, gorgeous, cute smile, hot body, know how to treats lady well, believe in God's path and another good things about him. OMG he's just too perfect to be true. He must be every girl's dream for having a boyfriend like him, including me of course haha. Ok check this out! I  will  share you guys some photos taken by us:

The euphoria was totally unbelievable

He's just too HOT to be true

"You guys really want I wanna sing one more song?" 

"YESSSSSSSSS! KYAAAAAAA" *thousand girl screaming*

"Really? What's song do you want?"

"BBBBAAAAABBBYYYY!"

"Whattt? I can't hear you guys!"

"BAAAABBBYYY!"

"What? Louder pleaseee"

"BABBBYYYYYYY! KYAAAAA"

"Ok here we go..Oh hit me baby one more time~"

"Nooo it's Britney's -_-, babyyyy! ouooo...ouoooo"

*giggling then smile* "Ok baby sing it with me, ouoooo...ououuuu...You know you love me, I know you care~" *all beliebers singing along"

You got a great humor taste, J-Beebs♥ 

nb: Bieber fever will haunt you asap ┌(_o_)┐

What's new here?

Gosh! It's been a month since the last time I wrote something on my blog. Everyday is inconsistent, a contradiction and far from agreement. In what particular way, do not ask. Why I didn't post sumthin new here? Because yeah I've to admit that I've been busy since it's my senior year..sigh. But I've been doing really fine, I'm pretty much enjoying my school life.

Well, you know my life has been quite hectic these days. UJIAN PRAKTEK --> UJIAN SEKOLAH --> UJIAN NASIONAL --> SNMPTN, I'm not ready for that things, ok not yet. This is hell, goshhh! -_- I'm so bored with my daily activities, must go to school, must take a course, must study and blah blah blah. I couldn't stand pretending that everything is going well 'cause there are so many questions that I couldn't find the answer. I just know that I'm so tired and the one I want is freedom. Oh please, let me free.

Boredom. I'm bored and tired. I want to be free as a bird. Just fly and go wherever I want. There's no need to worry because I have my own wings, yes I wonder if I could live alone in another city or country and go somewhere alone. This year, I'll graduate from this fuckin school (amen!) and I want to start my new life, better life. Start from today, I'll take my responsibility as a 12th grader student. 'Cause I don't want my efforts for 2 years at this school become futile and I want to make my parents proud of me. It just takes some elbow grease, FIGHT! Aheyyy~

In God, I trust & believe

These days I was so confused. It's like I don't know which step I should take since I don't exactly know where the way leads me to. All I think is 'what if'. What if I take this way? Then I can't find what I will find if I go another way? In contrast, what if I take the another way? Hmm yeah forget it. It'll become more complicated than I thought. What I know now is..I'm just trying to enjoy my life, my new boring routines with a new spirit and a big smile, eh? I must face this reality, 'cause I know that life never stops for anybody. Actually, I should really know the differences between 'what I need' and 'what I want' because sometimes they're just against each other. One thing you must know that I don't regret the things that I've done, I regret the things I didn't do when I had the chance.

Last but not least, special thanks for Jesus Christ, He holds my hands through these days. I wish He would hold me until the end of this battle. I believe there is no problem or no situation that God can't solve :) I know He is awesome in all of His ways. Wish me luck guys! Merci♥

Happy new year!

Before I start this post, I would like to wish every one who may  read this a happy new year 2011! May this year bring us happiness, success, filled with peace, and togetherness with our family & friends. I don't know why but it seemed like 2010 has just started, but here we are now, standing straight to the future in 2011. Honestly, 2010 was a year that I'll never forget in my life 'cause 2010 was totally complicated and full of memories.

Let's make a new beginning with a happy ending!

First of all I wanna say..
* thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person
* thanks to those who envied me, you made my self-esteem grow stronger
* thanks to those who left, you showed me that nothing lasts forever
* thanks to those who copied me, you prove me that I'm a trendsetter
* thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important
* thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today
* thanks to those who loved me, you made my day brighter

Actually there are more than a million things that I wish I could do in 2010 but I couldn't. So I'd try my best to complete my 2010 resolution in this new year. Here are my new years resolutions:

1. make God as my priority . I want to pray more, read His word more and trust Him to get me through each day
2. get a best score in every subject
3. study harder, more diligent and accepted at the best university
4. being a lovable person without having to be someone else and being a better person. 'a talk less, do more' person
5. make some new friends and have a gentle boyfriend
6. become a good sister for my brothers and daddy's sweetest daughter
7. I will be a more patient person and try to understand that others cannot be perfect, just as I cannot be perfect
8. I will strive to accept differing opinions in a way that is tolerant and respectful
9. I wanna be smarter, slimmer, healthier, richer and anything with all the suffix 'er' 

I hope I can make it real soon as possible. AMEN. I know that I've made a lot of dumb mistakes in 2010, but it was those same dumb mistakes that made me much stronger and tougher. So whatever you do, wherever you are, we finally end 2010 and begin 2011. Let's take 2011 as a new empty glass, then let's prepare to fill it with loads of various liquids of life and learn some new lesson to be a better person. Last but not least thank you for all the memories; friends, ex and fam. Eventhough some of them aren't great but still, I wanna say thanks..for colouring my 2010 :')

I love you mom

'Cause you are amazing, just the way you are..

Happy mother's day MOM! She's everything, irreplaceable, means a lot and loving her is like food to my soul. She's such a strong woman, she act like nothing happened eventhough there are so many things have ruined her mind. She understands me so much without I said something first, and the best thing..she never forced me to do something if I don't want to. A mother understands what a child does not say 'cause mother knows the best, and I believe with that. I might act like a shit sometimes, but it won't change my love for her 'cause forever it will stay the same. You know that you're totally amazing and you're truly my hero, mom. Words will never be enough to describe my love for you. 

I'm sorry mom eventhough you always try to give me what I want, what I need, but still, it ain't enough for me. I'm sorry mom if I always ask you to pay every little things that I've done for you, but you never wanted a pay back for all the big things you've done for me. I'm sorry mom if I've been treating you badly and I'm not good enough to make you proud, but someday I will. I want to see your happy face when you see your daughter can be a successful woman. She taught me so many things, she always says that I have to be strong and don't be weak for a man. I have to work and don't depend everything on my husband. I will mom, I promise.

Once again, happy mother's day for all the prettiest mom in this earth!

your lovely daughter,

Sofiany Leoni♥

Grandpa, I miss you

How are you there grandpa? Suddenly I remember the happiest part of my childhood when you were still alive. Another year has passed. The spaces between us are infinite. I want to be with you this Christmas, but I can't. No wait, I can but maybe not now, later. I miss you and I love you so much. I want and need to talk to you. I can still feel you right here by my side, at each step of my life. I can still feel you in the darkest of the skies, as a shining star, glowing bright as ever.

This is not the first time I post something about you. But this is the only one I can do when I miss you :( the day that you left us, you didn't say good-bye. God was calling his angel home and there was no time to ask why, I know you are happy now with Him. Opa, you watched over me while you were here and I know that you'll watch over me from up there.You taught me how to be a strong lady and I'm glad to be your granddaughter. Tears have fallen for you, some happy and some sad. Each moment we spent together will be special to me forever :')

"Selamat ulang tahun ke-8 23 januari lalu. Semoga Tuhan memberkati, umur panjang, sehat dan rajin belajar untuk hari depan yang lebih baik. dari Opa 7/12/2001" 

Opa, do you remember? Those words you have been written by yourself when I was eight. Even it looks nothing special but it makes me smile everytime I see it. I miss your sweet smile, your warm hug, your voice, your kindness, your angry face, the moment when we had a good time when we swim together and every little things about you. I still keep all the toys that you have given to me; all the barbies and dolls, I never ever want to give it to anyone eventhough I'm not a little child anymore.

As always..

If you were here, I want to sit in front of you and hold your face in my hands, caress your sweet cheeks and tell you how precious and special you are, how much I love you and how much I've missed you. I want to hear anything you want to say, do anything you want me to do, and go anywhere you want..I just want my grandpa back. The more I wish to bring you back, the more it makes me feel helpless. And fyi today I received my report card, then you know what? I passed all the subject opa :) I promise I'll do better and study harder to make you proud. For my grandma, I don't know what or how to write about you because I never see you. But I believe that you love me as a grandma loves her granddaughter. Sometimes I feel envy with those who still has a grandma, 'cause they know how it feels to be loved and cared by a grandma. But I still be grateful that I know how it feels to be loved by a grandpa eventhough just for a short time. Till now, whenever I see a swimming pool I always remember about you, the greatest and the kindest grandpa in the world. I know we'll meet again sooner or later.

Opa, I wish to hug you tight eventhough I know I can't. But I have my arms open. Umm, I guess I'll hug my pillow and thinking it's you. Psssttt, do you know what opa? I'm 17th already,  it means your little girl has been transformed to be a young lady. I'll make you proud, someday. Though I can't see you, I know that you're still here 'cause in my memories you'll always live and in my heart you're always near. One thing you must know, you will never ever be forgotten opa..

With love,

Sofiany Leoni♥

Christmas is on the way

Hey guys! It's been quite a long time since the last time I updated my blog. I totally don't know what's my purpose on making this post, I just let my fingers typing without knowing what will it type then. Lately, I have a problem in controlling my temper. Not that I throw everything away when I’m angry, it’s just I get moody easily :/ I don't know why but that's what I feel hmm khey forget it.

Btw I'm so glad that Christmas is on the way! 'Cause Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love this atmosphere because it's a time to share happiness with those you love and lots of hugs. It makes me smile when I sing the Christmas songs and share stories all night long. When I look up at the sky, I smile when I see the stars up above and I remember a long time ago, love came down on Christmas day and changed my life. I want Christmas songs playing on the radio all day. I want the streets and malls to be full with decorations. I want to see people rushing in the stores to buy gifts and kids singing Christmas carols. One thing for sure, Christmas means a long holiday. It's a long excitement, when Christmas passes we still have new year to celebrate. Wooppps I love December so much!

Can't wait for Christmas

Time has been running faster, really. Honestly I can't wait for holiday. 'Cause this is gonna be my last holiday before I must face many TO and all the test including the national exams -_- it also means this is the last year I celebrate Christmas and new years as a highschool student. Yeah next year I'm gonna be a college student (amen!) wohoo totally can't wait for it. I know life is getting harder and I'm getting older. In this life, I thought that life is not about winning, getting and having everything. It's about losing and letting go of what used to be mine. One thing, dear lovely Santa please give me a special gift for this Christmas. It can be people or the thing that I want the most, I know you can read my mind without I write it down :p last but not least, Christmas please comes faster!

This is called reality

Alohaaa! The exams is over! Ok not really because on Monday it'll be klasikal for pkn -_- but I don't really care about it. Ah yea I just woke up with a big question on my head. Who the hell that man in my dream? Is it him or another one? He told that I have changed. Yes he's right, not only in my dream but also in reality. I have changed. Don't ask me why, because this is me. I've found the real me.

Oh how I miss the days where my smile was actually true. Now it’s just to let everyone know I’m fine, most of all. I just hate the moment when the flashback starts. Yeah memory, memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, things you are, things you never want to lose.

I know life can be so hard. It can beat me down, it can spit in my face and it can do just about anything. But still, I must face the reality. Past is history. We are living today, tomorrow's a new start. I must wake up my self that I must fight for my future. I must study hard and make a priority. Like now, I don't know where I continue my study after I graduate later -_- fyi I have been accepted in Atmajaya, psychology faculty. But till now I can't make the decision, take it or leave it. I'm totally confused. Is it the best for me? Or not? Honestly, when I go to Atma with my mom a few days ago for the administration thing I can't feel my heart there. How can I say hmm I don't know why but I feel like something in my mind told me that "this's not your place" even my mom was excited when she knows that I have been accepted, 'cause yeah I admit that atma has a good reputation in that faculty. But still..I'm not sure :/ I know God will guide me to find my future. Wherever He put me in, I believe that's the best for me.

Where am I?

For whatever that is I wanted to do, I needed time, and I needed to focus. The more I grow older, the more I learn to be true to myself. It sounds cheesy, I know. But it matters, really. Me? I’m scared of anything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am and everything. And for now..I don't think to make a relationship with someone. I happy being single lady. I'm free like a bird. For you someone out there, don't promise me something that you won't keep. Don't say you're going to do something you're not going to do. Seriously, no need to be bringing my hopes up and trying to make me happy. Because in the end, as high as my hopes gets is as low as it's going to drop, or even worse. I don't need any dissapointment. Again.

nb: I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, 'cause my parents taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate :)

Proud of my self, 

Sofiany  Leoni♥

Exams

Hell-o lovely readers! Just to inform you that tommorrow the exams will be start :'( oh man I need HOLIDAY for sure. Time has been running faster that I though. School sucks, really. I haven't much time to do all the things that I want. I must face the reality that I'm a student in 12th grader -_- so study is my new best friend eww yuck..I miss my 11th grader moment. Here I post the schedule for XII IPS aka my class..

You can't spell studying without dying

Ok wish me luck then hmmph may God always bless me and help me to do all the exams. AMEN! And I'll try to update this blog If I have some extra time. Praying. Some people think it's silly thing and useless. But I still believe it's the best after all. Good luck for me and all of you! Last but not least, please no 'galau time' during this exams week :/

When

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into your mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways..

It feels so good to be loved and to be wanted 

"When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. 

When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed.  

When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining eventhough he can’t carry a tune. 

When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left breast so he’s always close to your heart. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you." -Anon

I just bold the thing that I feel, 'cause before I met you..I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile with no reason. But now, everything seems so different....

\(‾▿‾\) (/‾▿‾)/

Much love, 

Sofiany Leoni♥

Kepada rindu

Aku benci rindu
Tak tersampaikan, tak tergubris
Enggan diungkapkan karna mulut terkatup rapat
Jangankan memulas senyum, menoleh pun tidak
Di planet yang sama, di kota yang sama
Hanya sekedar tahu tanpa mencoba memahami

Aku benci rindu
Tertampar sepi dan haus gelak tawa
Dibayangi kenangan tak luput rasa sendu
Seakan tak terjamah sedikit pun tidak
Hati menangis, wajah meringis
Rindu ini tidak lucu

Aku benci rindu
Bicara salah terdiam pun salah
Hilang dalam diri, tersesat dalam hati

Aku benci rindu
Mendadak jadi egois, tak tersaingi
Tak sadar waktu berjalan, bumi berputar
Rasanya mau tumpah
Tapi bagaimana? Di mana tempatnya?
Kamu. Ya kamu itu!

*hei kamu makasih jadi inspirasi. 

Ingin deh sesekali menamparmu, 
dengan rindu.

I'll give you my middle finger for free

hello there fuckin bitch! Can you just stop act like a stupid moron people? I'm sick of you. You act like you know about EVERYTHING and wear your beauty mask to make everybody feels simpathy to you. Maybe you're thirsty about popularity, am I right? lol poor you dear

Yeah one thing, if you never had experience about something, please SHUT UP. Stop to give someone your bullshit advice because in fact, you don't know anything at all. Do you enjoy with your life now? With your fake lifestyle? Do you think everybody loves you with your attitude? HAHA too bad, you can't analyse people that well. We'll see then, I'm sure someday you'll regret all what you did. Just stop lying, stop pretending and stop to flirt with a guy who already taken even everybody knows from your eyes that you adore him. Hell yea eyes can't lie sweety, poor you unyu unyuu

last but not least..
if you choose to be a bitch, at least get yourself an attitude

What does it mean?

Hello bloggie! How are you? Do you miss me, eh? Sorry I haven't post sumthin new 'cause currently I'm a bit unhealthy. I got fever, cough and flu :'( yeah get well soon to me and honestly I miss to post sumthin here...so here I am! Even my mom told that I must take a nap but...I don't want to mom, sorry :p fyi I don't go to school for three days (include today) because I'm sick and hell yeah I feel fuckin bored here -____- I've finished read 4 novels in a day, 'cause there's nothing I can do. Ok feel free to call me crazy, or freak? Maybe I really am. Before I was sitting in front of my laptop, my fingers rested on every letter. I wanted to write. I wanted to create just one brilliant story. But I couldn't. I didn't make any sense. My head was filled. But I don't know what or why. Hmm well I just found this on internet, and I was like...JEPPP! when I read this,

I was trying to control my emotion when you ruined my mood again..

"Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terampuhnya,

melainkan justru berarti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terakhirnya.
Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan berarti dia tidak berusaha menahannya, melainkan karena pertahanannya sudah tak mampu lagi membendung air matanya.
Ketika wanita menangis,
 bukan karena dia ingin terlihat lemah,
melainkan karena dia sudah tidak sanggup berpura-pura kuat

Ketika wanita menangis, 
bukan berarti dia ingin mencari perhatian,
melainkan karna apa yang dia perhatikan telah mengabaikannya.
Ketika wanita menangis, 
bukan berarti dia mengharapkan belas kasihan,
melainkan karna dia sedang mengasihani dirinya sendiri.
Ketika wanita menangis, 

bukan berarti dia ingin membuat sesuatu yang dia tangisi merasa bersalah, melainkan karna dia tidak tau kesalahan apa yang membuat keadaan menjadi sedemikian.
Ketika wanita menangis, 

bukan berarti dia sedang memancing kepedulian semua orang terhadapnya, melainkan justru karna dia tau, bahwa tidak akan ada orang yang peduli."

 

and yeah again..that fact...was fuckin true. For me, or let I say for some girl. It totally doesn't mean that girl is weak but it means girl is fragile and tough (too complicated? try to find it by yourself) I love to cry because I'm a girl, I love to cry because I'll be free after that, I love to cry because it reminds me of you, I love to cry because...I want it. I know that I'm not a little baby anymore and I know I'm NOT. I'm strong enough to face it by myself. Sometimes I wonder why things are getting harder everyday, how I wish I could turn back time. It hurts to grow. Anyone who says it doesn't.....is lying. And dear time, can you slow yourself a lil bit every weekends? And much more faster on the weekdays? Thanks. 

Muak

Ini cuman muntahan otak. Bukan sajak. Bukan puisi
Tapi mungkin presepsi anda berbeda. Terserah

Saya muak
Muak dengan segala kemunafikan
Muak dengan segala aktivitas yang itu-itu saja
Muak dengan segala yang palsu dan tak berbobot
Muak mengatakan saya baik-baik saja ketika sesungguhnya tidak
Muak mengatakan ya ketika kenyataannya sama sekali enggan
Muak terpaksa menyugingkan senyum karena keadaan
Muak pura-pura tidak tahu padahal kenyataannya sangat mengetahui
Muak melihat orang bermuka dua berkeliaran
Muak mendengar pujian palsu yang sebenarnya menyimpan rasa dengki
Muak berpura-pura baik kepada orang yang tidak pantas diberi belas kasih
Muak harus tertawa padahal dalam hati menahan tangis
Muak untuk mengalah karena perasaan tidak enak
Muak merasa galau ketika terbawa suasana
Muak mengingat masa lalu yang tidak ada gunanya
Muak melihat orang yang tidak pernah bersyukur atas dirinya

Saya ingin
Ingin pergi jauh ke tempat antah berantah
Ingin mensyukuri hidup seakan sempurna
Ingin terbang bebas tak terkendali
Ingin dicintai dan mencintai
Ingin selalu senang tanpa susah
Ingin sukses dan dipandang orang
Ini khayalan? Bukan. Atau mimpi? Apalagi itu
Hanya luapan emosi. Tak setuju? Lagi-lagi terserah

Who do you think you are?

:')

Hello adorable readers! It's been an ages I never post the new one -,- ha I'm kidding you. Actually I totally don't know what's my purpose on making this post, I just let my fingers typing. So today is 17th October, it means today is my friend's bday OVIANI NATALIA aka yantoyyy - "happy sweet seventeen bday yantoyy! All the best for you and may God bless you :)" even I dunno you read this or not pi haha

Then, it also means today is..emm what should I called him? Ok ex, haha Idk why but it seems so funny for me lol. Today is your birthday too, right? Yea I still remember it even though our relationship had broken for a long time ago. Am I a good reminder, huh? Actually I don't know why suddenly I remembered about you..(again) ummm hello, ex..today I feel like missing you. Yeah today, I'm sitting here, in front of the laptop remembering all the things we've been through and done so far, replaying all those memories we shared. I honestly never realized how much I missed being with you. You may not be the smartest or the most handsome man, but you still the one who knows exactly how to make me smile when I'm at my lowest, the one who knows exactly how to cheer me up when I break down, and the best part is..you've such a great voice (for me) :p

And if you ever happen to read this, I just want you to know that I'm just trying to say what I've been feeling. Not the feeling to want me back to be your gf but at least we can be a super good friends, you'll be my another big brother if you want. How I wish we could talk more :) and yeah, you see I'm happy now even you're not by my side anymore. I can laugh, I can smile, still. thank you, I've completely forgotten how I loved you. And I guess it's time to stop living in the past. Time goes, never stops, it runs, and life goes on. Thanks for the memories..

my last words?

"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, 

happy birthday..happy birthday...
happy birthday..momo"

ps: I still keep your voice note when you
sing "happy birthday" to me. It was great :) 

Forgive us ma'am :'(

HELLO BLOGGIE! Gahhhhh I miss you. Sorry if I haven't post anything a few days ago it's all because the school things -_- yayaya exams, homework and assignment err I need holiday for sure. Actually I don't know why I make this post I'm just let my fingers typing this post. Apa yang mau dibagi? Hmm oh iya hari jumat kemaren kelas gw sepi. Kenapa? Karena cowo-cowonya pada lomba futsal gitu di SMAK 1 nah inti ceritanya gini jadi pas pelajaran bahasa inggris, ma'am Atiek (wali kelas XII IPS aka wali kelas gw) nanya pertanyaan gitu tapi ga ada yang jawab and than bla bla bla.Singkat cerita ma'am kecewa banget sama kita :'(

uda kelas 12 tapi masi ga serius belajar,
uda kelas 12 masi main-main,
uda kelas 12 tapi tetep nyantai,
uda kelas 12 belajar kalo ulangan aja,

 "kalian tuh punya sayap buat terbang, saya gamau kalian gagal seperti saya. Coba kalian pikir, guru-guru disini rela tiap sabtu dateng kesini buat kasi pemantapan ke kalian. Kalo guru-guru ga sayang sama kalian, kita juga mending di rumah sama keluarga. Tapi kita luangin waktu buat kalian. Kalo kaya gini caranya percuma usaha guru-guru. Kita sama orang tua kalian itu cuman bisa mendorong. Harus kalian yang naik tangga kesuksesan itu sendiri! Kalo kalian gamau usaha buat naik sendiri percuma aja, yang ada kalian jatuh. Jangan cuman ngeluh capek-capek nanti juga abis kalian selesai ujian-ujian kalian bakal libur panjang, kalian bisa tidur sepuasnya mau bangun jam berapa juga bisa. Masa-masa kaya gini tuh emang capek, but you must face it. Kalian musti sabar. Bakal ada saatnya kalian bakal kangen masa-masa kaya gini, kangen sama kelas, kangen sama temen-temen kalian. Coba pikir, tinggal berapa bulan lagi kalian bareng-bareng kaya gini? Someday you  gonna miss this moment. I'm sure. Nanti kalo 10 tahun lagi kalian dateng ke sini uda jadi orang yang berguna sesuai cita-cita kalian, siapa yang ga seneng? Kalian juga kan yang bangga? Sedangkan guru-guru..bakalan tetep stuck jadi guru kalo pun masi ada, ga berkembang. Kalo kalian ngerasa ga ada yang care. I'm care about you. Sekarang coba tanya sama diri kalian masing-masing, sudah belom kalian mengeluarkan usaha yang maksimal selama ini? Percaya sama ma'am ini semua demi kalian."

dan selama ngomong kaya gitu ma'am nangis. Sumpah ga tega banget liatnya :( ga kuat liatnya. Emang penyakit gw nih kalo liat orang nangis jadi ikutan nangis, apalagi momentnya pas walopun gw tahan biar ga ngucur deres. Selama ma'am ngomong gitu gw ngerasa kaya sampah, ga guna, useless. Rasanya pengen gw rekam suara ma'am biar ntar kalo gw mulai down, gw bisa dengerin terus. Pertanyaan ma'am yang terakhir tuh nancep banget di gw "uda belom selama ini usaha maksimal buat ujian?" mungkin belom, tapi gw janji akan. Lebih tepatnya HARUS!

I promise this to my self

xoxo,
L

Believe me

"She can't do the things I do to you,

No one is loving you the way, the way I love you,

She can't be everything you need and what you need is me,

Coz its the way I love you. The way that I love you,

Love you the way I do" -The way I love you

Think about future

Goodbye September and hello October! Forget the bad things, start a new beginning and Oct pleaseeeeeeeeeee be nice! Btw hari ini sama besok sekolah gue ngadain EDUFAIR jadi banyak kampus atau universitas gitu yang dateng, bisa dibilang promosi juga sih buat mereka then the bad news is....gw tambah bingung dan makin sadar kalo uda jadi anak kelas 12 -______- honestly I dunno exactly where I want to continue my study yea this is sounds so stupid, I know..How come a 12th grader still didn't know about her future? What should I choose? Psychology, business, or communications? And the biggest problem is... WHEREEEEE?? Geezzzz I'm so confused :(


1. UNIVERSITAS INDONESIA
Siapa gamau masuk UI? Kalo sampe ada ya kebangetan -_- well like we know UI tuh punya gengsi tersendiri hmm gimana ya kesannya kalo masuk UI tuh WOW banget dan derajat kita berasa naik haha menurut gw sih gitu, kalo di UI gw mau ambil psikologi kalo ga komunikasinya. Semoga gw tembus Simak taun depan.Yellow jackets, I'll be a part of you! AMEN

UI

2. ATMAJAYA
Entah kenapa atma sepertinya jadi pilihan kedua. Sebenernya buat cadangan aja sih kalo ga tembus simak (amit-amit semoga ga kejadian) bukannya pesimis, tapi kan kita gatau ntar gimana jadi ya cari aman seenggaknya punya pegangan swasta. Di atma gw minat banget psikologinya katanya bagus uda gitu sampingnya plangi, kalo bosen kan tinggal loncat :p tapi di atma gw radaaa.....hmmm yaudalah ya gausah dibahas heuuu

Atma 

3. PRASETIYA MULYA
Kenapa tertarik kesini? Hmm ya sebenernya dari awal cita-cita gwjadi businesswoman tapi entah kenapa pas kelas 12 gini gue lebih tertarik ke psikologi atau komunikasi -_- hmm yaa things have changed. Hasrat itu masih ada, tapi ga segede dulu. Jujur tadi abis denger presentasi sama dateng ke standnya prasmul gw malah makin ga niat hmm gatau kenapa yang presentasiin tuh gabisa mengsugesti dan meyakinkan kalo prasmul itu bagus bisnisnya apalagi pas presentasi barengan sama carlo sama tete yang ada malah becanda sama menghayal haha but thats fun :)

Prasmul

Jadi intinya masuk mana? Gatau -_- kata nyokap disuruhnya gue ngambil atma dulu ya walopun ntar duit yang udah ditransfer gabisa dibalikin seenggaknya gw pasti kuliah, ga akan cengok nganggur setaun di rumah.

I'll always try to do the best and make my parents proud to have a daughter like me. Last but not least I believe that God loves me in His own way, I know He will prepare the best for me :)

Sweet :')

Pencil: Eraser, I'm so sorry.

Eraser: Sorry? For what?

Pencil: I apologize, because you hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you always have to erase it. But since you eliminate the mistakes, it makes you lose a part of you. You're getting smaller and smaller.

Eraser: That's true, but I don't really think about it. You see, I indeed was created to do so. I was created to help you whenever you make a mistake. Although in one day, I know I'll disappear and you should replace me with a new one, I'm certainly happy with my job. So, don't worry. I hate to see you sad.

 

  Me. Just like that eraser. I'll make you seems perfect even it hurts me :)

Ps: Wish me luck for religion and economy exams this monday, I'll do my best. AMEN. And for you there, I miss us. I miss how we used to be. What happened to all that?

Seriously...I'm not ready

Hey bloggie what time is it? It's about 3pm already, what day is it? It's Sunday?? WHAT, Sunday???? OMG time has been running faster that I though, so tommorrow I must go back to school? Oh damn! I'M NOT READY to face Monday. School sucks. I'm sick of homework and assignment :( oh yea how are you all my homework? Math? Accountant? Sociology? What else? Do you miss me? If yes, I'm so sorry I don't miss you at all -,- lalalala

I hate exams

And the bad news is........on Tuesday I'm going to start the UTS aka Ujian Tengah Semester -_- oh mannnnn what the hell seriously I need MORE holiday grrrr wish me luck for the test guys! At least I can pass them all..AMEN and I'll try to update this blog If I have some extra time. Good luck for me, good luck for you and have a super duper nice day muaahhh :*

xoxo,
L